Two of the issues I struggle with are escapism and immoderation.

I’ve spent about twenty years applying both, liberally, to the realm of music. I’ve built my identity around my love of/knowledge of/involvement with/ownership of music.

Recently I had two dreams which I sensed were communications from Jesus, who I follow. The first suggested that I had abdicated control of my musical obsessions to oppressive spiritual elements, and I needed to be free from that oppression. The second suggested that I wrongly saw myself as ‘in control’ of my musical obsessions, and that I risked passing this oppression down to my children.

I prayed about this, and after consideration, I felt pretty certain that Jesus was asking me to lay down control of music. One aspect of this directive was to give up my cds, which embody my obsession. Another was to delete the iTunes library and stop intentionally listening to music. No headphones at work, no putting a cd on the stereo in the evening. Jesus reassured me that he knew how much I loved music, and that this was good, but that for the foreseeable future he would control when, what and how much I heard. When I hear music I love from now on, I’m to view it as a personal gift from God, an expression of his love for me. It’s been over 4 months since I listened to anything on purpose.

This has turned out to be both excruciating and fruitful for me. I’m completely reorienting myself to music. On the other side of this process, I feel like there’s a new identity for me, one that more closely resembles both who I really am and who Jesus is. I’m excited about that.

digital television

saw (yet another) ‘hdtv’ box in this morning’s trash on the way to work. someone else has taken the plunge into modern tv, and presumably, into preparedness for digital television.

On February 17, 2009 all full-power broadcast television stations in the United States will stop broadcasting on analog airwaves and begin broadcasting only in digital..”

i’ve been feeling vaguely uneasy about this until i realized that, as long as i have a working analog set in my house, i’m in the (arguably) enviable position of being able to say after february 17th, “i cannot receive television transmissions over the airwaves in my house.” yes, we have a tv; how else could we watch magic school bus videos? but the prospect of the kids discovering broadcast television has always kind of creeped me out.

maybe i should start stockpiling analog television sets. they’re going to be cheap and plentiful for a while.

in the interest of full disclosure: zena and i do watch and appreciate some television. we’ve seen every episode of lost, online, and plan to continue. and friends have loaned us the british office and arrested development on dvd — those were really awkward and funny. i personally just want full control over which programs are available in my home. and i’m about to have that, as regards the medium of the television set, for the first time in my life, ever. i’m a little giddy; someone please take me down a peg.

santa on tv

zena and i were interviewed yesterday, by the fox news detroit health personality, about mazzy and this saturday’s buddy walk (zena is the p.r. rep for the event). mazzy wore, variously, her princess/fairy dress and her santa suit.

we’ll likely air tonight (10/2) on the 5 o’clock news (around 5:50 or so, they say), tomorrow morning on the 11 am news and Saturday on the 8 or 9 am news. update: it’s online — watch!

we have no television in the home — dvr it, folks!

and if you’d like, join us saturday at kensington, 10 am, for some serious buddy walking.


i love my public transportation time, because i’m usually free to read a book (or whatever).

but this morning, i realized that i dislike finishing a book on the bus (see 52books). i think its because that period just after finishing a book is kind of like an eddy in time, where the book and its ending and the moment are sort of swirling around in your brain, and there’s a stasis that’s really precious. and being on a bus just kind of messes with that, probably because of the forward motion; it kills the eddy and starts time flowing again.

i like to finish a book on the couch, at night, after everyone else is asleep.

also, last week, i discovered that i actually kind of enjoy the (far-away) smell of a skunk, on the highway or wherever. because it reminds me of scratch-n-sniff books when i was a kid. but when a skunk is up close, man, there’s no getting over that.