And the flowers, as daft as mud, poured out their honey. ~ Mary Oliver

whether or not you have ever dared to pray

whether or not you have ever dared to pray

maybe the light at the end of the tunnel is really a lamp lit in the window. seems the largest part of my life is a grasping, a strangling, trying to make a good thing and hold on to it as tight as i can. […]

maybe i might love you

maybe i might love you

maybe you’re like me. maybe light has always hit friendship at a strange angle. i’ve always looked for the true friend, the real friend, the friend i could trust no matter what. and i’ve never found her. i’m watching my daughter play in the yard […]

moms forgiving children forgiving moms

moms forgiving children forgiving moms

i broke ella’s tea cup. she found a set at an estate sale that was pretty perfect and upon carrying it in from the yard, it slipped from my hand. way to go, mom. its tough not to venerate your mother.  to gloss over the […]

the great intelligence of kindness

the great intelligence of kindness

mazzy has been busy with her high school musical. she’s been spending nights at rehearsal, putting together costume ideas and driving to the performing center right from school with friends who have cars. driving in a friend’s car.  walking together out of the school to […]

the reliable enemy of good friday

the reliable enemy of good friday

our cat is pretty reliable in this way – if we open a window, soon the cat will appear there on its ledge.  he can also always be found when we open the back door, trying to run out between our feet and prowl these […]

stout-hearted

stout-hearted

i’m going through the motions.  laundry.  dishes.  downstairs in the basement i hear change in my son’s jeans as i go to put them in the washing machine.  i dig around in the pocket and bring out three coins.  they feel like quarters in my […]

and i’m so glad

and i’m so glad

joshua and i celebrated 19 years of marriage a couple of weeks ago.  the first four years of it there were no children.  no mazzy.  no abe.  no ella. i remember the counseling and the fighting.  i remember how hard it was to suddenly be […]

a blog post about a person with down syndrome

a blog post about a person with down syndrome

i had a dream last night about bloggers who write about their children with down syndrome. some are so famous online that you’d recognize them in public. in the dream i was walking by lake michigan and a mother had set up her kids for […]

unanswered prayers

unanswered prayers

my dad was back in the stacks and the snow wasn’t stopping outside.  big, fat snowflakes falling themselves down on the lucky streets of ann arbor, michigan.  i looked over and saw my husband considering yet another collection of words to stick into his brain. […]

here i am to worship, here i am to bow down

here i am to worship, here i am to bow down

i smell her hair. strawberry shortcake. thin arms and legs with a head too large for any human body. i inhale and wish for the scented air i remember from the doll of my youth.  i would have taped that doll to my face like […]