what you’ll find there

have you ever felt too dependent on someone? that sort of if i’m not near this person, i’m not quite sure the world will continue on as it should? yeah, me neither. when that person breaks your heart, you could have a real chance. a chance to find out what your definition of love is

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when staying at home is lame

the grocery store is its own particular type of torture. i must be thankful for the resources to be there, the choices, the strength in my legs to walk the aisles, to push the cart.  i know.  i must be. but when you’ve done something a few hundred times it loses that certain something and

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pop music and the teenage soul

this thing keeps happening as my 13 year old daughter listens to pop music.  it takes me by surprise.  maybe it’s the scientific algorithms or maybe not. mazzy will play another teen anthem about taking life and love by storm and somewhere a few bars in – i have to stop myself from weeping. mind

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a strange and bitter crop

how do you write about the strange fruit in america these past months? how do you write about it as a person with skin so light that i always pass in every situation? maybe you don’t write about it. but i don’t know how not to. as each video was shared i understood that this

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i’ll meet you at the table

our family gathered around my table and i felt older than i ever had before. and i guess that’s right.  i’m almost forty and my own children are set to start turning into teenagers in a couple of months, growing almost tall as their grandmothers. it was a beautiful day. we lost my uncle less

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failing at jesus stuff

she told me their church had split and that people were saying terrible things about them. i nodded my head and listened. silent, i nodded. churches are trouble, i thought.  churches are the problem.  they’re so messy, i thought. and when i looked out on the landscape of faith, i felt hopeless. but i was

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godfathers and cancer

“i spread a bunch of marigold seed, but only a few came up this year…i don’t know what went wrong.” my father is sitting next to his brother on a golf cart.  they’re riding around on the 3 acres i grew up going to every weekend or so.  he’s smoking a cigar and he’s got

the last day of summer vacation

i’m trying not to complain. trying to keep it close and finish the summer well. but self-care is real.  introverts are real. and one person caring for three people everyday for three months is a draining occupation. i’m past entering in. i’m past getting myself to a yoga class. i’m past a girl’s night out.

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in and of itself

i’m hoping to make a sacrifice, i’m hoping to make some time. distractions abound and i find myself racing towards them.  thankful lists compiling activity and people fall short of the kind of gratitude i’m lacking as of late. but i’m not so sure i can pull it off. well then, how about a minute

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