time

i’ll meet you at the table

our family gathered around my table and i felt older than i ever had before. and i guess that’s right.  i’m almost forty and my own children are set to start turning into teenagers in a couple of months, growing almost tall as their grandmothers. […]

failing at jesus stuff

she told me their church had split and that people were saying terrible things about them. i nodded my head and listened. silent, i nodded. churches are trouble, i thought.  churches are the problem.  they’re so messy, i thought. and when i looked out on […]

godfathers and cancer

godfathers and cancer

“i spread a bunch of marigold seed, but only a few came up this year…i don’t know what went wrong.” my father is sitting next to his brother on a golf cart.  they’re riding around on the 3 acres i grew up going to every […]

the last day of summer vacation

i’m trying not to complain. trying to keep it close and finish the summer well. but self-care is real.  introverts are real. and one person caring for three people everyday for three months is a draining occupation. i’m past entering in. i’m past getting myself […]

in and of itself

i’m hoping to make a sacrifice, i’m hoping to make some time. distractions abound and i find myself racing towards them.  thankful lists compiling activity and people fall short of the kind of gratitude i’m lacking as of late. but i’m not so sure i […]

i don’t know if there are harps in heaven

when winter was done, truly over, i noticed that i had an odd reaction to the signs of summer. every budding summer tree made me see autumn.  after freezing pipes and days we couldn’t step out the front door, the sight of the progression back […]

after a while we took in the clothes

that damp on the arms of hanging clothes on the line. it is clean. the breeze that lifts that damp and the sun that dries it. a light-filled room if ever there was one. these days my moments are like laundered shirts, damp and clean, hung […]

a word is worth a thousand pictures

i heard good things today. richard foster praised silence for writers.  bret lott shared that we will never master writing because it is filled with self-doubt and loneliness.  anne lamott said that writing takes much longer than you think it will and remains a struggle […]

tune my heart

it was a gas station.  we’d driven hours with three kids close and now one of them had to use the bathroom. joshua was pumping gas and i thought i’d just send her in by herself.  i wanted to be done. i didn’t want to […]

the truth doesn’t like to be quiet

abe lincoln said that by age 40 we all get the face we deserve. and yes, youth certainly covers a multitude of sins.  a bit like the chlorophyll that colors the new green of spring and the lush of summer. the young, so lovely, with […]