unanswered prayers

unanswered prayers

my dad was back in the stacks and the snow wasn’t stopping outside.  big, fat snowflakes falling themselves down on the lucky streets of ann arbor, michigan.  i looked over and saw my husband considering yet another collection of words to stick into his brain. […]

children on the shore

“Now I don’t want anything,”  the father of Aylan Kurdi said a day later, after filling out forms at a morgue to claim the bodies of his family. “Even if you give me all the countries in the world, I don’t want them. What was […]

ode to scott cairns’ ‘hesychasterion’

when i make our bed i will take a leafy branch and with it, smooth the sheets of softest green, down to wait until the day dims and we find one another again. when this daughter finds me writing in the shifting shadows on my […]

when i am not enough

  prayer books assume a lot. they take for granted that a body needs to take time to pray at least three times a day. at least. i’m being towed up on a line.  i am mentally preparing myself to tube down a ski hill. […]

tell a better story

we barely dragged ourselves to church. everyone was tired and both girls were blowing their noses into tissues. “mom!  i can’t go to church!  i have a cold!”  said mazzy. i was crying from the first worship song on. “there’s no place i would rather […]

swimming across lake michigan

we go to the beach. the waves lap up and back. my son is legs and arms, long and running behind me. my daughters dig in the sand. even in this moment they are growing up. i thought last night why it made sense that […]

back-alley heart surgery

gravel is crunching under my shoes as i crouch down low near a dumpster. my friends, my good friends, are in the bar.  i don’t have a lot of praying under my belt yet.  but i need.  i need so bad. i need a listening […]

good news for liars

“my idea of god is not a divine idea. it has to be shattered time after time. he shatters it himself. he is the great iconoclast. could we almost say that this shattering is one of the marks of his presence? the incarnation is the […]

prayer request

i get prayer. it’s not a holy moment for healing and restoration. it isn’t a ritual. pray with me, jesus asked the disciples and they tried.  they really did.  but they fell asleep. i pray because i can’t do this. the world around me.  the […]

join the ancient yuletide carol

they are belly flopping down before i can turn around. abe and dad are laughing and telling me it’s my turn. and maybe it is. my turn to fly down with abandon and laugh all the way as the sled moves fast with a mind […]