the stories we tell

i ended up outside. sometimes early january is friendly to outside morning dwellers.  this happens very rarely in michigan.  i still almost don’t believe it. the water was still and the city was so quiet.  i had to take a picture. i haven’t done this so much anymore. take pictures, write down my thoughts. i

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october reminds me of summer

the summer was good. yes, i’m still thinking about summer.  i still am processing that it’s over. we looked out the windows this morning and frost was holding fast to the top of the car, to the clover on the yard.  the heat has been kicking on.  abraham pulled out his electric blanket a couple

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jordan almonds and jesus christ

i’ve been thinking about jordan almonds lately. and how the weakest among us take the brunt of our anger. and how jesus is both. he’s the jordan almonds and the weakest among us. it was my dad’s cousin’s wedding where i first tasted jordan almonds. or maybe it was before that.  maybe it was my

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failing at jesus stuff

she told me their church had split and that people were saying terrible things about them. i nodded my head and listened. silent, i nodded. churches are trouble, i thought.  churches are the problem.  they’re so messy, i thought. and when i looked out on the landscape of faith, i felt hopeless. but i was

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kicking through the ladybugs

our first day in ohio hundreds of ladybugs swarmed the front porch. they landed on each ledge and all five metal chairs.  they swung on the porch swing. and then they died. i crunched out onto the porch to be in a quiet place.  the trees bare and the purebred birds flitting and calling.  the sun

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gender roles in my own backyard

we’re eating lunch at a plastic picnic table.  my knees barely fit underneath.  we’re mere feet away from the trampoline and the swing set. this is how young it starts. my son.  my beautiful boy.  this kind-hearted, contagious, leader of a boy.  he is a song.  he looks up from his paper plate and asks

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hired too soon

i come into an empty room; wooden floors and a basket of yarn in the corner.  the table is holding four squares of sunlight and a fireplace is giving off heat from a morning fire. it is a beautiful place. i get the same feeling when i get to the shore.  the empty beach stretches

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your life from here

there’s a man out there in the snow with his dog. he’s clipping back the vines on these frozen lanes.  my romantic notions of owning a vineyard evaporate a little bit because that’s what these lines represent.  the hard work of a farmer.  the day in and day out.  those posts are just necessary means

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tune my heart

it was a gas station.  we’d driven hours with three kids close and now one of them had to use the bathroom. joshua was pumping gas and i thought i’d just send her in by herself.  i wanted to be done. i didn’t want to get out of the car until we arrived.  i pulled

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