girl versus the world and her mother

girl versus the world and her mother

“let’s go around the room and say whether or not we’d abort if we found out we had a child with down syndrome.  okay?” i’m at a book club.  only two women in the room know my oldest child.  i came because they were reading […]

the judges are watching

the children are in their seats, sitting quiet, watching us. mazzy informed me earlier that she will be wearing a princess dress and she is. her glasses are perched on the bridge of her nose.  she is about to tell her classmates about down syndrome. […]

vulnerability and the grocery store

if there is any person out there expecting a child with a disability, i have this little piece of advice for you.  get ready for what i like to call ‘the grocery store brigade.’ i can’t count the number of times i’ve been shopping, deciding […]


“god gave man and woman the incredible gift of bringing children into the world, of loving and educating.  sometimes, however, parents can be disappointed by their children and want them to be other than they are. i have seen the great disappointment in parents when […]

the obvious reason

while studying sign language i learned that hearing people who have a deaf child regularly do not learn sign language themselves.  they don’t learn it even when signing is the preferred mode of communication of their child. it’s a complicated issue with a long history and […]

in the girl there’s a room

i’ve started to believe a lie. the one that says my daughter is unreachable. that would be the one. that she is happy, content, with her routines and habits and phrases. that’s enough. it’s good enough. that classroom there. the one showing movies everyday. the […]

the hardest working girl in show business

therapy becomes a big part of life when you have a child with a disability.  especially in the early years.  professionals who know how to develop tiny muscles and babies working hard to catch up with their typical peers right from the start. mazzy has […]

girlfriend is better

girlfriend is better

“we’re you afraid to get pregnant again?” some questions tell more than they ask. no. a simple answer to a complicated heart. let’s unmask the question, shall we? “did you consider sterilization after you had a child with down syndrome?” “were you so devastated that […]

no pictures. no words.

i left my camera with his motorcycle. i didn’t bring it on purpose so i’d be all there.  so i’d be in the moment with my dad. and i missed the shot. we walked the river and there was another group of people there, too. […]

it is very good

her voice sings out.  the notes are a jangle and the rhythm would cause one to wonder ‘what is that noise downstairs?’ without god we struggle.  we don’t like the unstable, transitory nature of the world we find ourselves in.  we want to hold onto […]