marriage

a good night of sleep

when we traveled into the night to come and visit his mother, i prepared for trouble. she and i struggled to understand each other and we both knew it should be easier. there were smiles and hugs and meals. time itself helped. but there was […]

for unto us a son is given

we had traveled for christmas. every holiday, a road trip, in the early days of our marriage. this time we landed with his family. the in-laws. the not mine. the other way of doing christmas, of doing family. in keeping with a rocky courtship, we’d […]

i like that you’re quiet

we’re watching the fire.  free firewood from the apple orchard.  my mother gardens with a woman who owns it.  come and take as much as you want. when we sat down at the restaurant and started to talk it wasn’t easy.  i had to remember […]

average terrain

  communication ain’t simple. all the roads of relationship are threatened by neglect, by lack of effort. trails of ivy that speak comfortable and lovely imperfection, that’s fine, but left untended our relating will all be done in work gloves. that’s how it feels this […]

a thousand ways to please your man

it’s late and we’re fighting. our children sleep rooms away in their beds.  one minute before we’d been as close as bodies can be and now he takes my arm away and can’t look at me. your picture in the picture frame.  the idea of […]

take courage

when the disciples saw the lord walking on water, they thought they’d seen a ghost.  it doesn’t happen this way.  but when peter saw it was jesus, he asked if he could walk out there with him. joshua leads us out onto the frozen lake […]

the practice of staying in irons

the practice of staying in irons

seventy percent of the earth’s surface is covered by water. the human body is about seventy percent water, too. god may be trying to tell us something. each human being is a walking ocean. we, every one of us, has depths therein that can’t be […]

changing the tie rods

“what’s that noise?” i pull over to the side of the road and joshua checks all four tires.  it’s raining.  it’s a flat. we crawl into a parking lot and he tells me to get in the car. “you don’t have to stand out in […]

hearts on display

some things aren’t anyone’s fault.  sometimes there isn’t anyone to answer for tears that fall or harsh words said.  sometimes all we can do is remember that everything isn’t done by human hands. it was a busy weekend and so i prayed for an hour.  i […]

different than i thought

when i was a child i didn’t dream of being a mother or a wife. i spent a lot of time alone, pretending and being very, very quiet. so how has it happened that i stay at home with three very, very loud, expressive children […]