and i’m so glad

and i’m so glad

joshua and i celebrated 19 years of marriage a couple of weeks ago.  the first four years of it there were no children.  no mazzy.  no abe.  no ella. i remember the counseling and the fighting.  i remember how hard it was to suddenly be […]

tell me the old, old story before i hurt someone

i’m remembering last night. i’m remembering the tone of his voice when he interrupted me.  i’m remembering the exasperated sighs when he had to do what i do all the time for children.  i’m remembering his apology that seemed half-hearted. i’m making a list of […]

so young at the start

i met a young man.  he was too popular and too talented and i watched from a distance, quiet.  i was so broken, i gambled a kiss with him and lost on purpose. our relationship has always been a gamble. our first date was a […]

wanted: one husband

i’ve spent the summer with my family. my husband has blurred.  he’s one of the five of us.  we’re all in this together. but i don’t know. sometimes i miss the two of us. apparently he could have been found on the beach in his […]

forgiveness for the sake of the marriage bed

“so how’s your sex life?” this is a question that is usually read from the front of a glossy magazine in the check-out aisle or said in a counseling office when things aren’t going so well.  this question she decides to ask me while we’re […]

when the bride of christ wants a divorce

i stole moments to see you.  walking down stone paths to find you, to be alone with you. when your words breathed close to my ear, the whole world turned upside down. water came from the rock.  i saw through your eyes and loved this […]

hesitating beauty

we glide over shallow, clean water.  we see the fish and rocks below.  we are raised up just enough to be a part of the river. they say if you want to know if you should marry a person, you should go canoeing.  see how […]


i’ve watched and waited for the anxious in him.  he’s not one to worry.  hurry doesn’t sound like a good idea.  he thinks about what to do and lets time shake a few things out before moving forward. he loves.   when we talked of […]

a good night of sleep

when we traveled into the night to come and visit his mother, i prepared for trouble. she and i struggled to understand each other and we both knew it should be easier. there were smiles and hugs and meals. time itself helped. but there was […]

for unto us a son is given

we had traveled for christmas. every holiday, a road trip, in the early days of our marriage. this time we landed with his family. the in-laws. the not mine. the other way of doing christmas, of doing family. in keeping with a rocky courtship, we’d […]