Category Archives: grace; free gifts

and i’m so glad

joshua and i celebrated 19 years of marriage a couple of weeks ago.  the first four years of it there were no children.  no mazzy.  no abe.  no ella. i remember the counseling and the fighting.  i remember how hard … Continue reading

Posted in family, grace; free gifts, marriage, mothering, redemption | 4 Comments


dwelling places

“do not let your hearts be troubled.  believe in god, believe also in me.” a few weeks back i took a risk. i have a precious friend.  maybe you have one.  i say precious because you feel the luck when … Continue reading

Posted in faith, friendship, grace; free gifts, hidden life | Leave a comment


when the heart starts freezing over

we drive down two lane roads in these woods with snow banks on either side.  they curve and hug frozen bodies of water; small neighborhood lakes and grand bays. on each there are people dotting the ice with their fishing poles.  … Continue reading

Posted in childhood, contentment, grace; free gifts | 6 Comments


the memory of the heart

it’s late at night when my mind and heart are vulnerable to old words spoken. words that were jumbled together any way you like, but always say the same thing. “i reject you.” “you are unwanted.” “you are unloved.” these stupid … Continue reading

Posted in forgiveness, grace; free gifts, mothering | 3 Comments


and then he took the cup saying

a bee fell into my wine mug. i went to take a drink and there he was set to drown. i grabbed a twig, stuck it in and expert that he is, he climbed his way out along it and … Continue reading

Posted in beauty, grace; free gifts, healing, jesus | Leave a comment


pie crust promises

the boy has started a comic book club and i have a tooth in my front pocket.  the girl smiles at me.  both of her front teeth have gone missing. things go missing sometimes, like whole summers, entire years even. … Continue reading

Posted in childhood, faithfulness, grace; free gifts, mothering | Leave a comment


so young at the start

i met a young man.  he was too popular and too talented and i watched from a distance, quiet.  i was so broken, i gambled a kiss with him and lost on purpose. our relationship has always been a gamble. … Continue reading

Posted in family, grace; free gifts, joshua, marriage | 8 Comments


the perfect christian life and anti-depressants

(this article originally appeared in catapult magazine.  the topic has been on my mind, so i thought i’d bring her back out and put a new dress on her.) A close friend knocked on our door a few weeks after … Continue reading

Posted in depression, disability, grace; free gifts, the church | 2 Comments


when i am not enough

  prayer books assume a lot. they take for granted that a body needs to take time to pray at least three times a day. at least. i’m being towed up on a line.  i am mentally preparing myself to … Continue reading

Posted in community, depression, grace; free gifts, prayer | 4 Comments


resolving to receive

when we happened into town that winter it seemed they were having a festival of sorts. one that celebrated the ice and snow.  the festivities caught our eyes and we drove right past a sign that said: free carriage rides. … Continue reading

Posted in beauty, grace; free gifts, new year | Leave a comment