of murderers and midwives

i pick up the knife and pierce what is right in front of me.  the practice of killing time becomes a habit and is it possible to murder a minute, an hour, a day?  could i leave months and years bleeding behind me? time arrives […]

he won’t give up

in my mother’s garden there is whiskey. strawberry whiskey.  it sits in the sun alongside the flowers.  she makes it every year and we sit in the flowers and we toast another year gone by. celebrating.  it’s was a theme of my childhood.  rejoicing in […]

time stands still

we packed up and went to greenfield village for the first time of the season. it was exactly the same. there is a freedom in faithfulness. to keep things, with a determined hand, to keep things the same.  the ever-growing grass and the demands of […]

my words fall far below

the season of spring and the word of god are both lands of memory. sitting outside with sunshine pouring on the pages of life.  those early days of me with god, spring air – the breeze, the water.  i walked down stone steps to find […]

it seems i can’t thank you enough

i’m walking and i’m trying to remember who god is.  i’m talking to myself and wondering if any of my prayers are making it up past my head. slow it comes to me how big god is and how able and how good.  i lay […]

what does it all mean?

i don’t know what day it is.  christmas went off like a small bomb and our house displays the rubble.  all my order dismantled, the landscape changed and recovery seems impossible. just like the babe in the manger. christmas isn’t just about compassion – it’s […]

when you’re wondering if god exists

i’m sitting in the living room and i can hear with my ears the words i’m saying. i’ve given my life to this. what do you do with doubt when you’ve told god that you’d give him your life? and how can i even presume […]

mud monsters

an odd thing has occurred over the past two weeks.  during the move and among all these boxes, i packed up parts of myself.  i stretched the tape with its loud resistance, not wanting to become a straight line, content to wrap endlessly around itself, […]

the vineyard

country roads led us out to a winery that i could have driven right by and missed some of the best wine in the state of michigan. we turned in. inside the old school house turned spirit house, we are poured taste after taste of […]

summer time

“god’s timing is different than our timing.” this admonition seems to always come with an obnoxious knowing glance that is trite and makes that mountain of truth into a molehill. there is no knowing look for us human beings. i know nothing and i’ll defend […]