lack of love and the holidays

maybe your family tree is a little bit of a thicket.  a gnarled bramble of fallen and crisscrossed limbs and branches.  the holidays approaching might tick towards you like an unstoppable hour and put your origin story front in center in your mind. just how did you arrive on this planet? its been a weekend

the mother of god

one place in my heart holds a grudge against humanity and all my friends. weddings and birthday parties. whenever i catch wind of another girl’s birthday party happening with no invitation for mazzy, i plot a little murder in my heart. every time i see friend’s daughters walk down the aisle trailing after our dearly

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the memory of the heart

it’s late at night when my mind and heart are vulnerable to old words spoken. words that were jumbled together any way you like, but always say the same thing. “i reject you.” “you are unwanted.” “you are unloved.” these stupid words from a person who has no memory of speaking them, they can stick around like

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and the shepherd is the gate

we’re sitting in a mexican restaurant and one of us or the other says it. “we sound hurt.” when the words of a person who’s been hurt by the church and the sentences coming out of your mouth match up it can be awkward. but it’s a start. jesus says he’s the gate and the

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tell a better story

we barely dragged ourselves to church. everyone was tired and both girls were blowing their noses into tissues. “mom!  i can’t go to church!  i have a cold!”  said mazzy. i was crying from the first worship song on. “there’s no place i would rather be, then here in your love, then here in your

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the cross is enough

there was demolition work at my kitchen table. i thought that it equaled the christian life. renovation; faith’s highest priority, it seemed to me. the work headed up by a foreman with hard hat on and drawn plans rolled up under his arm.  and coffee.  always coffee.  his eyes had seen this job a million

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