hallelujah is another word for thank you

and i’ve seen your flag on the marble arch and love is not a victory march it’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah mazzy wants to be in the choir. she’s sat in the audience applauding her brother and her sister for a few years now. she wants a turn.  but the polite email

double standards and marriage

a friend lets me know that he doesn’t want me to take this the wrong way, but he has a question. “do you live at the beach?” and i smile. i wish. another good friend told me recently that she loves me, but that i really need to back off in my parenting style. i laughed

lack of love and the holidays

maybe your family tree is a little bit of a thicket.  a gnarled bramble of fallen and crisscrossed limbs and branches.  the holidays approaching might tick towards you like an unstoppable hour and put your origin story front in center in your mind. just how did you arrive on this planet? its been a weekend

and i’m so glad

joshua and i celebrated 19 years of marriage a couple of weeks ago.  the first four years of it there were no children.  no mazzy.  no abe.  no ella. i remember the counseling and the fighting.  i remember how hard it was to suddenly be married in a new city where i knew no one.

unanswered prayers

my dad was back in the stacks and the snow wasn’t stopping outside.  big, fat snowflakes falling themselves down on the lucky streets of ann arbor, michigan.  i looked over and saw my husband considering yet another collection of words to stick into his brain. what a beautiful night. my mother was watching the kids.

hand me that baby!

christmas was as close as i came to jesus as a child. i wasn’t told the story.  there wasn’t a countdown to the manger in my house.  i didn’t hear about the blessed virgin turned away at the inn ad nauseum. instead my brother and i helped my mom assemble the christmas tree in the

a fairytale they say

the snow started coming down and eleanor wanted to build a snowman with her dad.  she waited patiently.  she let her wishes be known.  she left the request on her father’s ear. we were busy.  abe had a dance on friday night.  saturday was special olympics and dinner at my parents.  kids stayed the night

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i’ll meet you at the table

our family gathered around my table and i felt older than i ever had before. and i guess that’s right.  i’m almost forty and my own children are set to start turning into teenagers in a couple of months, growing almost tall as their grandmothers. it was a beautiful day. we lost my uncle less

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