frozen in time

the skin on my fingers starts to burn. being outdoors these past few days is a little like the lies i tell myself.  they seem like good ideas.  they can’t possibly be that dangerous. my boots step onto the snow but it doesn’t feel like snow normally does.  i know what it feels like to

the great intelligence of kindness

mazzy has been busy with her high school musical. she’s been spending nights at rehearsal, putting together costume ideas and driving to the performing center right from school with friends who have cars. driving in a friend’s car.  walking together out of the school to the parking lot and dropping her purple backpack onto the

and the shepherd is the gate

we’re sitting in a mexican restaurant and one of us or the other says it. “we sound hurt.” when the words of a person who’s been hurt by the church and the sentences coming out of your mouth match up it can be awkward. but it’s a start. jesus says he’s the gate and the

Read More

call for songs of loudest praise

“why do christians sing when they are together?  the reason is, quite simply, because in singing together it is possible for them to speak and pray the same word at the same time; in other words, because they can unite in the word.” ~ dietrich bonhoeffer a stack of two-pocket fading folders with fasteners.  thirty pages

Read More

all to reveal a secret we can’t hide

  during communal prayer at church, anyone can say anything.  i’ve heard mothers weep for children and homeless men go off on political rants. last sunday i had a prayer in my throat. but i think and rethink.  i wonder how i’ll say it.  i’m always writing my words. finally i pray. and as soon,

Read More

the friends you want to avoid

the problem with surrounding yourself with truth tellers is they tell you the truth. i’ve been giving paper a sideways glance and walking into the kitchen to do the dishes. i would start to type a blog post and then delete the words not liking the tone, my tone, any voice that comes from my

Read More

thoughts about faith and writing

i may regret this later, but i’ve never been so grateful. god is generous. i have work to do.  real work.  real service.  a way to love my neighbor as myself. and it doesn’t have to be a church building that you can walk into on sunday, it doesn’t have to be sandwiches made for

Read More

when i am not enough

  prayer books assume a lot. they take for granted that a body needs to take time to pray at least three times a day. at least. i’m being towed up on a line.  i am mentally preparing myself to tube down a ski hill. when i do, the first few seconds feel like a

Read More