secret plans

it’s the small, secret things that make a life. the hidden actions between you and your creator that you don’t regret, but rather forget, immediately, because there was no wrongdoing, only pure motive, that will be remembered out loud, from the rooftops, on that day. i’m sick of social media and its law of diminishing

17 years ago

Has this blog ever been about anything else? Mazzy. Mazzy. My first child. The girl who changed the world. My world anyway. “Every child changes your whole life!” “That’s true for typical kids in friendships, too!” “All kids go through tough school transitions!” I could try to tell you how different it is to love

rainforest heart

my shoe pressed onto the moss in the tongass national forest. the guide explained that the air quality here is 98% pure.  i felt lucky to be breathing it.  lucky to be seeing a bald eagle’s nest holding two fledglings with mom and dad watching us closely.  i felt lucky to sidestep a banana slug and

do you believe in whales?

whale sighting this morning. one tail spotted diving back down into this vast blue steel sea.  a spray soon follows and it’s enough to convince me that yes, there are whales in this ocean all around. what about twenty years from now when i haven’t been back at sea and all i have are the

a safe place to feel

last night i was talking to a group of women about emotions. we ended up fingerpainting and praying and laughing and crying. this morning i’m trying to remember how it feels to feel. i think paint may be in order. one friend said, it just felt good to have my fingers in paint. and it

let me show you a beautiful thing

i lived in three houses as a girl. the very first one stays with me as the truest home.  ten years of growing up.  ten years of not knowing anything but 7702 patton street in detroit, michigan. i don’t know when it started but i would walk two blocks down to warren road alone with one

seasonal heart

these days of muted light feel just about right. sometimes my heart feels wide open, easily accessible, like the bright blue. but not lately. no, when the sun gets further away, a thin sheet of ice weathered from the events and circumstances of the year forms. the thin places turn into visible pools of murky,

slay trick or you get eliminated

this summer there was internet buzz over the near eradication of down syndrome in iceland.  people wrote articles against eugenics and disability.  and i agree, it is terrible, right?  deciding that your child probably shouldn’t live because they may have down syndrome?  i mean, geez louise. mazzy wasn’t too concerned though.  she listened to a lot of beyonce this summer.   last

raspberry beret

a funny thing kept happening as we walked alone in rows of raspberries.  every spot we stopped to pick there would be a better one directly across the way. each time the very next row would hold larger berries, branches with fruit threatening to drop from the weight. how can it be, i wondered each