my life is good

when something is broken, you throw it out.  or you fix it.  or you imagine you’ll fix it and it sits, untouched, for a long time until you throw it out.

relating to jesus is not the process of discerning your brokenness and then getting down to the business of fixing yourself up with god’s help.  being broken is our lot.  there is a crack in my soul that splinters where it counts all over my life.

the only cure ascended into heaven in a cloud.  before that he ate some fish.  previous to that time he was dead in a tomb.  he’s not fixing me.  he’s changing reality.

a new one where brokenness is our strength.  one where inability ends like a diving board and allows us to plunge into the great unknown.  because, hey — what have we got to lose?  brokenness is a ticket to freedom.  i’ve been admitting i can’t fix myself even with dips into god’s bucket.

is he making me into a new and improved super zena?  one that has the out of control areas in check and approaches life in wholeness?  yep.  but i can’t get there from here.  as much as i bow to the god man, i am changed.

shepherd of all, you remained hidden from everyone in a tomb.  teach us to love our hidden spiritual life with you and the father.

amen.

and thank you…

123.  abe screaming brave

124. eleanor and her coloring book

125. mazzy going back to school

126. new pens

127. new computer

128. faith & writing festival

129. my parents

130. josh and the books

131. little children sleeping better

132. reading back remembering

133. subtle hand of quiet god

134. blankie found

135. april ending

136. my favorite preacher is god’s surprise

137. out of state calls

~ z