lack of love and the holidays

maybe your family tree is a little bit of a thicket.  a gnarled bramble of fallen and crisscrossed limbs and branches.  the holidays approaching might tick towards you like an unstoppable hour and put your origin story front in center in your mind.

just how did you arrive on this planet?

its been a weekend of hearing stories.

we all have one.  the mother, the father.  the things done wrong and the things done right.  if you followed the line of your story do you end up lost in the woods?

chances are the answer is yes.

love takes many forms.  sometimes it looks a lot more like hate.  the hurting hurt and the burned burn everything down just to make sure you know that they never loved you.

but we protest too much and our hearts are revealed even then.

its hard to realize and harder to accept just how very much every one of us matters to each other.  even him.  even her.  even me.  even you.

its difficult to believe that my actions may leave someone twisting.  actions i’ve forgotten and haven’t thought about in years may have been years of struggle for someone else.

it’s hard to believe we all matter as much as we do.

as the year winds down and we come inside to sit across the table from those we share our origins with let’s make some peace with our stories.

because the chances are even better that you are more than your beginnings.

much more.

and if you’ve moved 3,000 miles away to prove you never loved me i’m going to take it as a compliment.  i’m going to put things to bed this holiday season and going to stop living like i’m at the kids table.

we’ve become so much more than our worst failures or how we’ve been failed.

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