“do not let your hearts be troubled. believe in god, believe also in me.”
a few weeks back i took a risk.
i have a precious friend. maybe you have one. i say precious because you feel the luck when you’re with them. they are a kind of marvel across the table from you and a part of you hopes they won’t realize how unqualified you are for their confidence.
my friend was hurting and they were unsure of what to do in this big, amazing mess called life.
i was mostly quiet. i was mostly at a loss for words.
“in my father’s house there are many dwelling places. if it were not so, would i have told you that i go to prepare a place for you?”
when i did speak i said the only thing that i know. i told this ridiculously lovely human being that that i am so fearful because i believe if i don’t take whatever i can when i can that i’ll be forgotten and left hung out to dry. but that i also believe there is a different way to live this one short life.
i believe that god is generous.
“and if i go and prepare a place for you, i will come again and will take you to myself, so that where i am, there you may be also.”
peace fell over my friend and the cobwebs that threatened just seconds before were done. it was over. they heard what they needed to hear, case closed and thank you very much.
we forget how loved we are and we need to remind each other.
god is generous, but to really bet on that, to take it to the bank and live on that kind of commerce? now we’re talking high stakes.
“and you know that way to the place where i am going.”
today i saw my friend again.
they told me all about the generosity of god. we sat at another table many days and hours later. we celebrated the hidden hand on hidden streets in hidden places that gives gifts we wouldn’t have even thought to ask for.
it’s a gamble, i admit it. to look and see that there is no evidence to be found and believe anyway – it’s a real long shot. but for me, it’s the only way. any hope you find in me really is to stay here all the days of my life and remain in the generous love of god.