writing lonely stories

morning

writing is ministering, pastoring, chaplaincy.

i come to you and trace my scars with a fingertip.  i show you the map of me and at the same time you see that i’m healed up now, that i’m still here, that i’m okay.

and so are you.

both and

for a long time, writing was a mirror.  the way to understand myself, to see.

i wrote a whole book to see what i couldn’t about myself.  and it worked.  i wrote a book for me.

i got it out of my system.

writing changed then and became a mirror of me that could show you, you.  i can write and if i remember the reader, my stories become about you.

if i tell them well enough and i get out of the way, they are your story.

water

it is a lonely thing to walk with jesus.

he is always taking you to places you don’t want to go.

the lonely places.

there is no small talk when you are alone.  there is only what is true.  there i’m confronted with the map of what has made me, me.

if i stay here long enough, i just might have something beautiful to say.

something real.

peace

henri nouwen said this:

“but the more i think about loneliness, the more i think that the wound of loneliness is like the grand canyon – a deep incision in the surface of our existence which has become an inexhaustible source of beauty and self-understanding.”

so in the lonely places i might write down an honest word to share with everyone else in the same boat.

i hope to do that for you.

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2 Responses to writing lonely stories

  1. Meredith says:

    You do. You have and you will continue to do so. Thank you friend, for putting choice words to the quiet, whispered feelings.

  2. zena says:

    thank you meredith.

    i appreciate your consistency as a reader and encouragement. i’m attempting to write a book, not for myself this time, for you – the reader. i guess this was a small meditation on that endeavor.

    take care,
    zena

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