don’t worry, mom

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don’t worry, mom.

she says it enough lately that i’m starting to wonder that perhaps i’m more anxious than i know.

mazzy turned 14 last week.

it’s been less like a blink and more like a night of sleep.  time passes unaware, but it happened.  you were just out of time in a way.

mazzy has always been a little timeless.

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don’t worry, mom.

i remember the daily work of getting mazzy to where she needed to be.  to read words, to walk in a walker, to go to therapy.

mazzy made me a mother.

she rewired my brain.

she made me a specific kind of person that knows nothing.  that can predict nothing.  one that steps forward without a path.

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when mazzy was dedicated at our church, my friend, rebecca prayed this:

i see you as a flower that stays closed for a long time.  and when you bloom it will happen so slowly, but you will be the most beautiful flower.

it struck me as she prayed it.

i’ve held on to it for years.

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that prayer has proven true.

and the first petals are pulling away now.

i need to hide my face.

i need to take off my shoes.

look away from me lord, for i am a sinful man.

she is the most beautiful.

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i feel like i’m meeting mazzy for the first time now that she is 14.

and i’m not worried, mazzy.

i’m not worried at all.

This entry was posted in mazzy, mothering, time. Bookmark the permalink.

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10 Responses to don’t worry, mom

  1. Chelsea meyer says:

    ❤️❤️❤️ Lovely

  2. Mom says:

    Mazzy is such a strong and independent teenager because of the love and guidance given to her freely since she was born. This is what we want and hope for, for all our children. It brings a smile to my face looking back, because you, my dear, are my flower. She loves you both so very much. A treasured blessing letting you know her journey in life is on the right path.

  3. Joshua says:

    I just want to show everyone this post and say “Look!”

  4. Linda McClain says:

    Mazzy is blessed to have the parents she has and also the grandparents who adore her to the moon and back, she is loved by all and always will be

  5. Jamie Lee says:

    Such truth. Love you Mazzy and your mama.

  6. Jaylene Wecks says:

    Beautiful, Zena.

  7. Carole says:

    You are an amazing flower yourself Zena!

  8. ari nesbitt says:

    Zena, you wrote this so beautifully you almost had me in tears you always care for Mazzy and your other children you are so wonderful with everything you do love you lots

  9. zena says:

    ari!

    thank you! love you lots, too. so glad we are in each other’s lives.

    ~ zena

  10. Anonymous says:

    I love it she looks like she would be a great sister and family member

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