so young at the start

i met a young man.  he was too popular and too talented and i watched from a distance, quiet.  i was so broken, i gambled a kiss with him and lost on purpose.

our relationship has always been a gamble.

our first date was a movie.  he picked me up and sped down the highway.  i clutched at the armrest and watched quiet this boy man who was barreling through life.  bound and determined for what, i wasn’t sure, but i was hanging on and i haven’t let go yet.

our next date i hid a smile as he pulled into the putt putt golf course.  i warmed to him then, near the pirate’s cove on a summer evening.  there was nothing ironic about this night for him.  he was taking the girl he liked on a date, golf club in his hand.

perfectly normal.

i’d never been on a date before.  there was no boy so brave to take me to putt putt golf.  just this one.

no boy so brave.

when our first child was born and i sat in sorrow, in mother mourning – he never voiced one word of that kind.  he was only, ever, beaming father pride.

in the hospital, in blue scrubs, fresh from emergency surgery, he held her.  he cradled her and looked upon the sight with such love.  i watched quiet from the hospital bed and he held our whole world in strong arms that i needed more than the pain killers.

it seemed i won the bet.

we talk about the gamble we took sometimes.

how we knew so little of the character of the other person when we said, “i do” in that martha mary chapel on a friday afternoon.

so young and drawn by the ancient voice.

thankfully voices have a source.  behind those words that beckoned was a mind.  a being that spoke, still speaks and will speak again.

thankfully we look up from prayers once again, amazed at grace.

we gambled and won – but the game was fixed.

we were always safe. well-loved from day one by impeccable character unseen while we learned how to love from scratch.

this family is all grace.

edited repost from the archives…

8 replies on “ so young at the start ”
  1. As always, I read this with moist eyes, touched by the love you share. Thank you.

  2. Grace. How have I lost sight of grace? Because it clothes us in comfort so soft we almost forget it’s there… Marriages woven together by seams of grace… May I fall into it today.

    Good word friend.

  3. Zena – I am so blessed by the very idea that we are always safe, even when we feel like we are taking huge gambles with our lives. Thank you.

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