i forget that the most compelling thing about me is jesus.
in the forgetting i lose myself and become ungrateful, confused.
am i a good mother?
it is because jesus has wrought my iron will in his gentle hands.
is my marriage remarkable?
it is because he has been remarkably generous to two people who were nearly unable to love.
are my words worth reading, my choices worth emulating, my company not excruciating?
it is all and only because of jesus christ.
when i forget this, i forget myself.
i’ve been a bit dull and silent. i’ve been selfish and argumentative, boring and needing forgiveness.
i’m trying my best to respond to his loving kindness.
but i am slow.