when the if:gathering sold out in 42 minutes, it sort of threw me.
there are writers that i’ve come to enjoy online and some are promoting if:, so i decided i’d go. the day before registration they opened it early to their email subscribers, so when the general public had a chance to register the next day, it was already sold out.
the internet is filled with blogs and opinions and invisible empires. i sat for a couple of days and felt like mommy blogs had become less about changing diapers and more about cliques and capitalism.
but what bothered me most was that i couldn’t find a way in.
so i took a drive instead.
the girls and i set out to pick apples. i didn’t have quite enough gas or quite enough money, but something inside told me i needed to get into the real world to escape the anxiety i was feeling from the online world.
and it worked.
comparison steals happiness just like competition kills love.
i’m putting this blog down for a little while.
i believe that you like what i write and i wouldn’t do it if i didn’t enjoy it, but the good sometimes stands in the way of the better.
i want to write another book and i only have so many hours in day. i may post here and there during this next season, but it’ll be pulling a dusty book off a shelf, not my daily go to – or yours.
the organizers of if: didn’t do anything wrong. they’ve created a beautiful event that lots of women want to attend. god has blessed it.
it’s me who’s wrong.
i’ve been focused on something that the internet likes to do. it tricks the heart into feeling like it’s in relationship with people i don’t really know. it tricks the ego into believing it has accomplished something that really i have not done. it tricks me.
the real world is hard work. but at least it’s real.
gratitude list ~ one thousand gifts ~ 2215 – 2230
a husband who does dishes
pumpkin carving parties
uno by the fire
empty pie dishes
the goose getting fat
writing with shannyn
ella not sick
detroit, detroit, detroit
the faithfulness of god
painting the bathroom