school days and life has picked up the pace to a break neck speed. i’ve been running chicken headless. dropping kids off, picking kids up. appointments here and there and emails and phone calls.
i sit down in her kitchen and my friends are chatting, making coffee. i interrupt their small talk.
“why are we here?”
i ask because i’m on task. i’m on point. i don’t want to sit and let words collect into piles until there’s a soft landing place for the main reason to finally be brought up.
i want real reasons from the get go.
let’s get to the point.
there’s things to do.
i’m not quite worried about myself. but i might be getting there.
there’s eight things i need to do after i write this post. before i started to write it, i wrote seven emails. this morning i’ve already been in two cities and volunteered in a classroom. next i need to make soup for dinner guests. i have to study for an interpreting test. i’ve got to do the dishes. i need to straighten up. i have to be out the door at 2:30 to start afternoon pick up. it’s 11:22. i have 3 hours and 8 minutes.
but still i try to write and when i sit to write, there’s nothing. you can’t write reflections from a life well lived if it’s all being spilled out like water on dry ground. you just can’t. i’m trying, but it doesn’t work.
but i try.
knowing there is more to life than the rush of days into weeks into christmas morning here already!? the writing is like a stop sign and even if i have nothing, i have to stop. i’d rather go right through. i can see that no one is approaching from the other way, but no. the stop sign is there and i have to obey the law or risk the hefty fine of the unexamined life.
so what’s the point?
i’m really busy right now.
i might need a break.
a self-imposed slowing may be in order.
but today there’s soup. there’s sign language. there are things to be done.