stop and smell the – oh never mind.

stop sign

school days and life has picked up the pace to a break neck speed.  i’ve been running chicken headless.  dropping kids off, picking kids up.  appointments here and there and emails and phone calls.

i sit down in her kitchen and my friends are chatting, making coffee.  i interrupt their small talk.

“why are we here?”

i ask because i’m on task.  i’m on point.  i don’t want to sit and let words collect into piles until there’s a soft landing place for the main reason to finally be brought up.

i want real reasons from the get go.

let’s get to the point.

there’s things to do.

places.

meals.

children.

laundry.

small trees

i’m not quite worried about myself.  but i might be getting there.

there’s eight things i need to do after i write this post.  before i started to write it, i wrote seven emails.  this morning i’ve already been in two cities and volunteered in a classroom. next i need to make soup for dinner guests.  i have to study for an interpreting test.  i’ve got to do the dishes.  i need to straighten up.  i have to be out the door at 2:30 to start afternoon pick up.  it’s 11:22.  i have 3 hours and 8 minutes.

but still i try to write and when i sit to write, there’s nothing.  you can’t write reflections from a life well lived if it’s all being spilled out like water on dry ground.  you just can’t. i’m trying, but it doesn’t work.

small attempts

but i try.

knowing there is more to life than the rush of days into weeks into christmas morning here already!?  the writing is like a stop sign and even if i have nothing, i have to stop.  i’d rather go right through.  i can see that no one is approaching from the other way, but no. the stop sign is there and i have to obey the law or risk the hefty fine of the unexamined life.

so what’s the point?

i’m really busy right now.

i might need a break.

a self-imposed slowing may be in order.

but today there’s soup.  there’s sign language.  there are things to be done.

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