five toes

five fingers
this girl of ours turned five last month.

five years

five days

five nights

i remember you, eleanor.  your hidden form on the ultrasound screen when she said,

“it’s a girl.”

i cried and laughed at the same time.

i remember sitting on a couch in ferndale and talking with rebecca, trying to decide your name.  should you be nora after my grandmother or helen after josh’s grandmother?  all while watching sense and sensibility.


problem solved.

and you’ve solved many problems.

your sweetness and beauty like a gift every time for every eye.  and you’ve caused many problems.  your stubbornness that proves down syndrome isn’t the only thing that demands its way or the highway.

you love god.

you write songs.

you are quick to forgive.

i tuck you in and say happy birthday, child.

i feel the great gift of you.


gratitude list ~ one thousand gifts ~ 1862 – 1889

helicopters & marshmallows
traveling with three small children
nawar’s sundae
ella’s prayers
boxed whipping cream
dreams of warning
shallow people
no lunches
high holy days
caring for the broken hearted
morning glories
praying on a made bed
home movies
plants vs zombies
manipulative people
michigan fruits
the cains
the next pope
sugar man
attention megabus passengers
the flu
shannon’s story
driving home

2 thoughts on “eleanor

  1. I remember you and Elisse coming to visit me in NYC when you were pregnant with Eleanor. Now I know that that was over five years ago. Doesn’t seem that long ago. It was fun hosting you two.

    Also, I think you were actually watching “Sense and Sensibility”. 🙂

  2. You’re right about the movie! Changed – I always appreciate a good editor.

    – and another NYC trip without being pregnant sounds pretty wonderful!

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