she’s running down the shore with her brother. at some point she takes off the two small circles of glass before her eyes and tosses them without a thought back into the sand they came from.
she lost the last pair up north. she slipped away from us then and we searched the fields. when we found her, the glasses were gone. i was too relieved to care and besides, her grandmother had purchased an extra pair.
this easter we search the sands.
the third time jesus appeared to the disciples after he rose from the dead it was on a beach. by the time they made it to the shore he had built a fire and was cooking them breakfast.
bread and fish.
while he had been overcoming death and redefining reality, they’d crawled back to the lives they’d known before him; catching fish on the sea of galilee.
we can’t find them.
the beach stretches on. the rocks and sticks trick our eyes and look like lenses and frames.
we’re going to have to buy her new glasses.
there are things i can’t change about my daughter. there are years of repetition that just don’t stick. there are valuable items that get lost in the sand.
and i’ve had to let them go.
we had to pack up our stuff and drive home knowing they were out there somewhere. in our mind’s eye we can picture the glasses half covered in sand on that stretch and we have to accept that we couldn’t do it. we couldn’t find them and slip them back on the bridge of mazzy’s nose so she could see again.
jesus sits waiting on the shore. he tends the fire and he cooks the food. he feeds his hungry friends. he feeds peter. the one who denied him three times.
he eats with sinners.
he lets peter know that everything is not lost.
because peter has been searching the sands pointlessly for days. he threw off what he needed most without thinking and now he can’t see a thing.
jesus, put yourself before my eyes today. and like you forgave those who hurt you most, help me follow you and forgive and accept others.
gratitude list ~ one thousand gifts ~ 1394 – 1395