i’m spending a week with words.
i call home and hear the news of home. at home there is a lot going on. babies just found out and children needing thermometers. a true friend hearing truly hard news. but i’m not home, i’m here.
it creates a tension in my stomach and i wonder why do i think it’s so necessary to spend a week with words?
i say this,
“what am i doing here? there are so many important things happening at home right now!”
and she says this,
“what you’re doing is important, too.”
ann voskamp says that we think our work isn’t good enough because we think we are not good enough. we accomplish little because we think little of ourselves.
we meet downstairs for prayer at 8 and at noon and at 6 and at nine. we pray through these few, fleeting days of writing down what we think god might be telling us to.
from the tomatoes on the sill to the cathedral towering above the community garden, this place points toward that one word.
so at silent prayer this morning i pray for home. i lift up the friends and the children and the newest life. i pray for not being there and not needing to be and knowing it’ll all go just fine, maybe better, without me. i let it go and i head back upstairs to try to write again today.