when i want to know what’s next

Moses said to the LORD, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’  If you are so pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know what your plans are and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.” 

The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Exodus 33 12 – 14

there are times.  there are days.

i come to the table to hear from god and this is exactly what i’m looking for.  i’m waiting for a word that will tell me what is next.  he told me one thing, why isn’t he telling me the next?  he brought me this far only to be quiet about what he wants from me now?

and god replies.

my presence will be next.  rest will be next.

sigh.

oh lord.  will i ever understand that it is not what i do for you, but rather it is you?  you are the next step of the plan.  your presence is the only thing i have that makes me any different from anyone else in this world.  many people strive for a cause, but only your people have your presence.

and rest?

jesus, when you said, ‘come to me all who are heavy laden and i will give you rest.’  you meant it.

moses takes god up on his offer.  he then asks not only for his presence but goes further and says – i want to see your glory.  god agrees and sets him down in the cleft of a rock and covers his face with his hand and passes by, but tells him – “you may not see my face.  no one can see me and live.”

have you ever met a famous person?  or a truly beautiful person?  or someone you admire so much that you stammer in their presence?  you say the wrong thing and you go over and over what you did say, how you must have looked?  i have.

if i can’t handle human glory, if i dissemble and fall to pieces over a physically beautiful person – how will i stand before the glory of god unless i am covered by his hand?

i won’t.

i can’t.

i forget who i sit to meet with in the mornings.  moses forgets who he argues with.  he lets us forget.  covered by his hand, hidden in the rock, we wait for a glimpse of god and our faces will be changed.

gratitude list ~ one thousand gifts ~ 988 – 1009

meeting amanda at calder’s
paying less than i thought i would
brother over for dinner
compassion for the harassed
extra blankets
two coats
new candles
a whole life
worship and presence
praying with friends
praying for friends
eighty-seven years for frank adamski
marriage books
mazzy making us laugh
dad making waffles
agreeing to disagree
little dove about to hatch (vote!)
abe studying da vinci
so much left to say
so much left to write
presence and rest
greenfield village in autumn with friends

4 thoughts on “when i want to know what’s next

  1. bethany…

    i was tempted to write an entire post about you and the bakery…actually – if you come by early wednesday – maybe i could take some pics and ask you some questions for friday’s blog.

    ~ z

  2. Wait, were you in Columbus, at Central on Sunday? Because I didn’t see you here, but Jeff preached on the exact. same. thing.
    It’s, like, GOD is trying to TELL me something, or … something.
    About rest.
    AGAIN.
    Still trying to figure out how to teach, parent, wife, AND potty train from a position of “rest.” (stares out window in puzzlement, plans to re-read, reconsider, and pray AGAIN.)
    Thanks for being willing to echo God’s word for me again.
    Erica

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