and so it is that i need to be taught how to walk with joy in this life. why is it that way? why is joy not my default? why must i learn how?
with only eighty years, you’d think it would be built in to enjoy them.
or can it be that the “in your path” is what trips me up?
and so it is.
that life is not mine, but his – and the path is not of my choosing, lord – but yours.
always you will find me at the tree of the knowledge of good and evil – believing that god is a liar and that i surely will not die.
could i stay my hand this time? must i always relearn the lesson by expulsion?
i don’t. i don’t have to anymore.
so i’m starting to learn joy, and i want to be taught. i want you to teach me, god. teach me about walking joy. i’ll learn this language and travel into a foreign country. i will sit and listen to those i can’t comprehend. i will stay until i am fluent.
i want to learn the mother tongue of god.