snow was falling today like memories. piling high into powdered hills that look substantial, but a kick would send them flying. when a stranger stops and tells me that i should enjoy my children while they are young, it goes by so fast – i want to ask:
“what does? what goes by so fast?”
because i’m not sure if the mothers everywhere lament their days of child rearing gone by. these hard days of self-denial, self-annihilation, the forcing of colossians into the flesh.
in humility consider others better than yourselves.
i think it might be life gone by in general that the grocery store ladies pine for.
life slips like children grow.
it’s not only childhood that zooms. my days fly just as fast.
i think that’s what the old women sparkle at as they smile down to eleanor.
they see their lives gone by.
i can’t believe the audacity of god to allow us free will. of all people, you think he would know better.
he knows best.
he alone can untangle these knots we tie life into. knots of the kind that even if i sat all day, everyday, i could never loosen, another always being revealed.
he allows this for our stubborn hearts that bang heads like mere beasts to finally say that his ways are not ours and he is higher.
he is so much higher.
i want to find the road of my king.
i want not to be deceived by myself.