easter is sixteen days away.
easter gets the short end of the holiday stick in my life. or at least, it has.
christmas and easter were jesus-less for me growing up. christmas has each year steady become full. there is something in the early, dark that shuts the cold out and the heat and the tree speak holy, holy, holy as soon as we close our coats in the closets. low lights burn and singing songs of the redemption child come easier and easier.
easter. not so much. today i threw three chocolate bunnies, plastic grass and reeses eggs in my shopping basket. my internal sharpie checked easter off the list. really. yeah…not so holy.
it seems hard. but it must not be. there is a lot of new life out there. it’s making our hearts bloom to see the crocuses. eleanor runs to them as we get her out of the van.
“see the flowers?” she asks with hope.
missing chances to put his life into ours, we wonder why our children don’t value rightly. at least, i wonder. creative is as creative does. i know what i got to do. cross molds. chocolate crosses. next to chocolate bunnies? ah. eh. blah.
sigh. i don’t know what to think. i think i’ll just have to read the story. we’ll read the story and we’ll recreate a garden out in back. we’ll buy plants and construct a cross. we’ll go all out. we’ll light candles the night before easter morning and while the boy, while the girls dream, their father and i will go out and find the stone rolled away. or actually, we’ll roll it away.
when they wake up, we’ll all run for the garden instead of the chocolate. chocolate will be there, too. but who cares about chocolate after all that togetherness? after all that effort? after all that learning?
i don’t know.
but maybe i’ll try. maybe i will try.
it’s been a while since i added to my 1,000 things to say thank you for. i’m going to just pick up where i left off. and you? are you endeavoring to join me?
51. my massage from beth
52. being brave
53. graeters ice cream
54. dave & jody nixon
55. coming home after retreat
57. my mother in law
58. three children
59. henri nouwen
60. to wake and realize i’m wrong
61. snow days
62. going grocery shopping – alone
63. that forgiveness is more powerful than punishment
64. for friends i haven’t met yet
65. hearing abe come downstairs
67. spending time on family
68. the book of job
69. my friend, karen, who has known me long and loves me
72. detroit and all its possibilities
73. something to look forward to
74. all three in zipped up footie pajamas
75. sleepy morning kisses
76. raking last years leaves out of the beds to find hidden green growth
77. the last of winter sunshine
79. that everyone has a story
80. being intentional
81. brother and sisters claiming the backyard
82. sun beckoning irresistible
83. red roses
84. cleaning out the coffee pot
85. wedding rings
86. cold air
87. realizing that i may be too comfortable after all
89. that you move before me, lord, and i do not see you
90. mothers celebrating sixty years
91. that i can love instead of demanding love
92. when the words speak
93. flowerdale street
94. that we can fear the lord and wait for his kindness
96. soup and bread from scratch
97. newborns and their ability to destroy order
98. that god has other plans for me everyday
99. stopping to eat at the park in the snow
100. dreams in the night that point to the truth
that’s what i’m saying thank you for as of late. joshua is pulling up in a borrowed car. time to go stand in front of the stove and feed a deserving family.