i’m going to tell you a secret

sometimes the title of my blog is a swift kick.  my life is good.  my life is good.

like a mantra, i need to remember what makes a good life.  it is not me-time.  and it is not date nights.  it is not getting away from the things that make up my life.

it is giving up.  it is looking around at the things that have been stealing all my time and sitting down and saying, ‘thank you.’

inspired by ann voskamp’s wisdom.

i’ve been attempting to do what should be easy.  it should be simple to wake up and remember and say thank you.  but it’s not.  not for me.  i am prone not only to wander and leave, but to build mortar walls and cry with delirious rapture from within that “I’LL NEVER LET YOU HURT ME AGAIN!”

this doesn’t make for thankfulness.  it doesn’t even make for friendship…let alone motherhood or marriage or following a crucified holy man.

i’m thick.

now, ann, who i mentioned above, is a bit more put together than the likes of me. it’s not even monday. i tried to pattern myself after her for a while and things went well, until they didn’t.  but i’m learning.  i’m learning from lots of things and her good life is one of them.

“one thousand things to say thank you for”

1. indian food
2. snow
3. power to choose to change
4. welcome
5. knitting
6. encouragement
7. people who love my kids
8. dancing in the house
9. patience
10. the revolving door of feelings
11. good coffee
12. the pauses of eleanor’s speech
13. every morning, a new chance
14. every moment, a new opportunity for improving marriage
15. every decision, a choice to obey
16. leaving anger further and farther behind
17. mazzy sharing her thoughts
18. sign language
19. that we didn’t notice the flat tire until we were done sledding
20. apologizing & forgiveness
21. eleanor’s beauty
22. abraham’s boyhood
23. sowing seeds with mazzy
24. candles
25. all the children asleep by 7:30
26. naptime
27. josh garrels singing songs
28. a just and agreed upon wage & the strength to bear the burdens of the day
29. storehouses of patience awaiting entrance everyday
30. back massages from librarian husband who needs one himself
31. my three children
32. my mother and father, living close
33. friends that keep the faith
34. time to be alone before i’m surrounded
35. writing
36. mazzy in elizabeth’s crinoline
37. a home.  a school.
38. less and less codependency
39. my driver’s license
40. jay pathak preaching out in colorado
41. watching lost with joshua
43. watching the kingdom come in joshua
44. taking care of myself
45. six hours of sleep
46. ambien
47. people who tell the truth
48. when self-pity doesn’t work
49. friends who are nurses
50. stretching

i think i’ll share my one thousand things from time to time here on this blog.  i think i’ll share them in blocks of fifty.  that’s what i think.  how about you?  want to try it?  it’s not as easy as it looks and it’s much easier, too.

thankfulness changes my perspective.  life is good.  mine is, and yours is too.  we see what we look for sometimes.

enjoy the day,

z

3 replies on “ i’m going to tell you a secret ”
  1. Reading here, from Ann’s prompt.

    I will probably end up spending way too much otherwise known as housework time going through your archives to get to know you.
    From what I’ve read thus far. It will be worth it. It will bless. Has already.

    your family is precious.
    your writing made me come alive here this afternoon.
    Thank you.

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