zena neds-fox is writing a letter

my indoor cat was out all night about a week and a half ago.  she slunk past us in the morning and slept all day.  turns out she was bit by another cat.  she’s been to the vet and had her pills, but she’s still got a little bit of a hitch in her giddy up.

i’m bad at blogging.  i used to love it and do it often, now i rarely do it and never know what to say.  besides the fact that everyone keeps up with one liners these days.  i know that i don’t have many readers anymore, but maybe it’s good to feel like i’m just sitting on my couch, writing down words that only i may read.  because that’s what is really happening.  all of us, alone, in front of computers.

i deactivated my facebook account.  leaving facebook is the new facebook.  i look at the computer a lot less during a day and this is a good thing.  i’ve three little people who are informed by seeing me stare at a screen instead of them, instead of doing something productive.  i don’t want to be that person as much as i’m prone to be.  and then there’s the friendship part.  i love a lot of people.  i miss a lot of people, too.  fb made me feel like i had some control over those relationships, that we are still connecting in some form.  but it’s not really true.  i’d rather talk to someone i love on the phone.  i’d rather hear my phone ring and know that they’d thought of me and not that i was one of 350 people they’re checking in with.

call me sentimental.  truth is i’ll most likely know a lot less about people i truly care about.  but that says a lot, too, no?  maybe friendships have their own season.  i’m letting winter to come if it needs to come.  i’m not so great at that.  hopefully i’ll be surprised.

i was out in the garden today.  i’ve lived in this house for nearly five years.  it’s the longest we’ve lived anywhere in our married life.  my plants are mature from years of growth and multiplication.  i can walk around and grab something from somewhere and make a plot look any which way i please.  i like that.  time supplies the increase sometimes.  next i’ll be giving it away.

goodnight friends.  enjoy your day.  call someone you love and slow down in some small way.

~z

5 thoughts on “zena neds-fox is writing a letter

  1. I can’t call! My cell doesn’t work over here 🙂
    So keep blogging, b/c those of us who have quit f-book (though I’m too chicken to hit the ‘delete’ button) do in fact read your blog. I love looking at the pix of you + fam too.
    Is that creepy?
    I hear you about me looking at screen in front of children thing. How do we use this tool without it using us? …is that too Matrix-y?
    Sorry for bringing up The Matrix.
    On your blog.
    White Rabbit.

  2. girl, i always check. i love you. fb does give the illusion of being connected still, i agree. too many far away people for me to delete my account, but in the last two weeks i’ve barely been on. i’ve thought about chucking the whole thing (blogging, et al) entirely… but then i come back. i always come back.

    anyways, blogging/fb/twitter: none of this is satisfying enough to replace talking to you on the phone. we don’t do it enough, need to get better at that.

    i love you so very much.

    -agnes

  3. z,
    i hear you. i took a week off from all internet activity the week after last when i was at the national AVC conference and it was truly rewarding. i’m going to take the summer of from facebook starting this weekend and see if i want to return.

  4. hi zena!

    i’m still here too!, with the same thoughts, same struggles, and then some. 🙂

    i often wonder what my children will say about mommy and the laptop. when i’m listening, that still small voice will tell me when to walk away. but i’m not always listening. sometimes i wonder what it is that is so difficult about freedom. why i can’t just be on 10 min. a day? why it’s feast or famine?

    and don’t get me started on gardening…

    so yeah, i think you should do a summer chicago trip. i’ll even make t-shirts. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.