blind and deaf

i catch myself this morning thinking of everyone else scripture applies to.

but it’s me. i am the blind one. i am the deaf one. i am the servant god depended upon that looked and never saw, that heard and listened to nothing.

‘it enveloped them in flames, yet they did not understand; it consumed them, but they did not take it to heart.”

the message puts it this way,

‘their whole world collapsed but they still didn’t get it, their life is in ruins but they don’t take it to heart.”

there is a thing in each life that isn’t quite right. an area we gloss when we do think of it and it’s too much. this life isn’t suppose to be about that. but it is.

i have friends who engage suffering. it’s their motto and they are changed. this morning my husband told me about yet another book he’s stuffed into his mind, about living among the poor. the idea of who is blessing who when you toil with the poor, and why? because the poor give of their treasure. i give what doesn’t pinch. i give what i’m suppose to. i give til it hurts and then i stop.

i had company while i prayed this morning.  a voice that tells me to just do all of the things i’m pray about. just get off your lazy butt and do these things. and do them well. i rise more defeated than when i bowed my head. i’m pretty sure i’ve got that one wrong.

god is for me.

god is for me.

i can pray to a god that is for me.

i can ask for help today. the government is not upon my shoulders. not even the govenment of my household.

a thousand ways are in front of each one us all the time. we choose the one. the one with the groove worn tracks that we always choose. we are blind and deaf to the nine hundred and ninety nine other ways. many followers of jesus settle with the idea that there is one other way and it happens to be sold at your local christian retailer.

lift your head from the tracks today, zena. lift your head to the abundant life before you. it really is there. it’s there.

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